When the House Becomes a Playground of Power

When the House Becomes a Playground of Power

Why Delayed Effort Becomes a Lifelong Consequence — For Both Parent and Child

The Story No One Wants to Hear

A 19-year-old boy.

• Can’t read.
  
• Can’t write.
  
• Can’t manage even the simplest tasks at home.
  
• He’s violent.
  
• Abusive.
  
• Self-destructive — using a blade on his own body.
  
• And now?
  
  He pushes his mother. Hits her. She cries — not just from the pain, but from the years of watching everything go wrong.
  

The house is no longer a home.

It is a place of fear.

Of guilt.

Of silence that came too early.

And support that came far too late.

When the House Becomes a Playground of Power

In many homes, the dynamic is heartbreakingly familiar:

• The child rules the space.
  
• The tantrums decide the tone.
  
• The day revolves around avoiding triggers.
  
• The parent is no longer a guide — but a hostage.
  

Games run all night.

Demands are met with silence or submission.

Tantrums become negotiation tactics.

And underneath it all?

Guilt. Fear. And a desperate hope that things will fix themselves.

But here’s the truth:

A house that has no structure becomes a house that offers no future.

If a 19-year-old is the boss of the home — why should they work?

Why should they take responsibility, build skills, or respect boundaries?

They’ve been handed the keys to a kingdom built on avoidance — not accountability.

What Was Missed

The signs were there:

• Disinterest in routine
  
• Resistance to instruction
  
• Emotional withdrawal
  
• Meltdowns brushed off as “normal”
  
• A child who was managed but never mentored
  

Yes/ Maybe— some effort was made.

There were therapists. Worksheets. Advice.

But it didn’t work. And somewhere along the way, the parents stopped trying.

Not out of neglect.

Out of exhaustion.

And that is where the damage began.

Because when something doesn’t work, the answer isn’t to stop.

The answer is to pivot. To reflect. To ask:

“What am I not doing right?”

Not: “Why won’t this child change?”

The Dangerous Illusion of Outsourcing

There are centres that will take your child.

They will give you polished reports.

They will say, “Let us handle it.”

And some parents breathe a sigh of relief — not because they’ve found a path forward,

but because they’ve found a way to escape the pressure.

But the reality:

Is this the life you’re choosing for your child — one of being managed, not empowered?

Because you couldn’t hold on long enough to teach them how to hold themselves?

You’re not weak for being tired.

But your tiredness cannot become your child’s future.

The Choice to Act Is a Privilege — Not a Luxury

You may have the choice today — to intervene, to act, to lead.

But having that choice doesn’t mean you’re allowed to delay it.

It doesn’t give you the right to sit back and hope it sorts itself out.

Because one day — when the child is older, angrier, more disconnected —

you will not be able to blame the child.

You will only be left with the consequences of what you didn’t do when you had the chance.

We often say, “Let them be kids, let them be free — don’t stress them so early.”

But hear this:

Roots are not planted in the storm.

They must be laid deep when the soil is still soft — when your child is still reachable.

By the time the storm of adolescence or adulthood arrives,

it’s not always too late —

but it is often too hard to begin what should have already been second nature.

Effort Is Everything — Especially When It’s Not Working

I have deep respect for the parents who:

• Keep trying even when it’s unclear
  
• Shift their strategy — but never lower their expectation
  
• Work with their child, not around them
  
• Invest time, energy, attention — not pity
  
• Strike while the iron is hot
  
• Don’t abandon the plan just because the result wasn’t instant
  

That’s not just parenting.

That’s leadership.

That’s power.

That’s what builds the future you’re hoping for.

Your Child Is the Bottle of Unopened Fragrance

Yes — they may seem loud, scattered, resistant, or lost.

Yes — they may feel like a puzzle with missing pieces.

But also:

• They are brilliant.
  
• They are full of sensory depth.
  
• They are wired for originality.
  
• They are waiting — aching — to be seen, guided, and unlocked.
  

They are the bottle of rich, unopened fragrance.

Sealed — the world never knows their beauty.

But opened with consistency and care?

They spread something unforgettable into the world.

Dear Parents,

Choosing — because you can — is not enough.

You must choose right — for your child, not just for your convenience.

You must lead today so that you don’t resent them tomorrow.

So that the child you raise doesn’t grow up in a home they control, but a life they can build.

You are not raising them to fit in.

You are raising them to stand strong.

And that means planting the right roots — early, firmly, patiently.

You cannot shape a tree once it has hardened.

You shape it when it’s still flexible, still listening, still looking to you for what’s next.

Start now.

Stay steady.

And never stop choosing the harder right over the easier wrong.

Thank you for being part of this quiet revolution.

The momentum is real. And it begins with you.