The Pitfall of Cookie-Cutter Programs

Breaking Free from the Push-and-Pull of Therapy Centers:        

Why Working with an Experienced Special Educator Matters More Than Endless Therapy

Understanding Why Therapy Alone Often Fails and What Actually Works

The Problem: The Therapy Trap

Many parents begin their journey with the best intentions—to help their child thrive. But somewhere along the way, they get caught in a never-ending cycle of therapy sessions:

• Speech therapy, occupational therapy, ABA sessions, social skills groups—you name it.
• Multiple appointments each week.
• Different therapists giving conflicting advice.

Suddenly, the child is being pulled in different directions—and instead of making progress, they’re learning how to push back.

“I often meet children who have suffered from the push-and-pull approach of therapy centers. What they end up learning is not cooperation or skills—but how to resist, how to say no, and how to push back even harder.”

The Sad Truth: Children Learn to Trick the System

When children aren’t emotionally or developmentally ready to learn, therapy becomes a battle.

• They don’t engage.
• They resist.
• And they get labeled as “stubborn” or “non-compliant.”

But here’s the sad truth—many children quickly figure out how to trick the system.

At a young age, they unintentionally discover the power of manipulation:

“If I just do what I’m told, I’ll get a cookie… or better yet, she’ll be off my back.”

They perform just enough to satisfy the therapist, without truly engaging or learning. They become experts at getting through the session while staying emotionally and mentally disconnected.

Don’t Underestimate Your Child’s Brain

One of the biggest mistakes I see in therapy models is this:

They underestimate the intelligence of the child.

Even very young children are capable of:

• Reading the room—figuring out who expects what.
• Spotting shortcuts—doing just enough to avoid conflict or to get the reward.
• Building coping strategies—not for learning, but for surviving the session.

This isn’t real learning.

It’s surface-level compliance, and it fools adults into thinking progress is happening.

“Children’s brains are powerful—and they quickly learn how to adapt to situations, especially when they feel pressure. That adaptability can either foster genuine learning or just help them ‘get by’ without truly engaging.”

The Pitfall of Cookie-Cutter Programs

Many therapy centers follow cookie-cutter programs—tailor-made not for the child, but for the convenience of the system.

• Programs are often just checklists, passed down from a doctor or an AI tool who may have limited direct experience working with children.
• These lists are followed by subordinates who focus more on ticking boxes than truly engaging with the child.
• Inexperienced therapists may do more harm than good—pushing for compliance rather than fostering real growth.

“Parents come to me thinking the child will learn to be ready for school—but that’s not the only thing special educators do. We build the foundation of learning itself—the mindset, the emotional regulation, the readiness. Without that, the learning curve remains flat.”

This leads to children learning behavioral shortcuts—

• “If I do this, I get the cookie.”
• “If I hold out long enough, I’ll get the screen time.”

And just like that, the focus shifts from learning to survival.

The Push-and-Pull Problem: Why Therapy Centers Sometimes Fail

Not all therapy centers fail—some do work, and for some families, they bring results. But in my experience, the real question is:

Does it align with what you believe in?

Because as a parent, when you’re deeply invested in seeking progress, you want to believe that every session is moving your child forward. But what happens when progress feels slow—or non-existent?

Think about it this way:

If you were pushed every day to learn something you weren’t ready for…

• Would you learn?
• Would you want to engage?
• Would you take initiative?

Most of us wouldn’t—and children are no different.

In many therapy settings, children get caught in a push-and-pull cycle:

• Therapists push skills before the child is ready.
• The child pushes back—through resistance, tantrums, or shutting down.
• Therapists push harder, leading to even more resistance.
• Parents get frustrated, wondering why no real progress is happening.

But here’s the twist: some children stop pushing back.

They realize something powerful—

“If I just do as I’m told, I’ll get a reward… or better yet, I’ll be left alone.”

And this is where many therapy programs miss the mark.

The Real Problem with Intermittent Rewards

When children are constantly pushed to do something they’re not developmentally ready for:

• They learn to perform, not participate.
• They figure out how to “get through” sessions without absorbing anything.
• And over time, they start to believe that learning is a chore, not an opportunity.

Worse yet, intermittent rewards (like cookies or screen time) reinforce this cycle.

• “I’ll do just enough to get my reward.”
• “The faster I comply, the sooner I can get back to what I want.”

This creates children who feel:

• Less in control.
• More helpless.
• And far from experiencing a real learning journey.

“See how it works for you—would you learn best with a push-and-pull method? Or would you thrive in an environment where you feel connected, safe, and seen?”

The choice is in your hands—but not for too long.

Because once a child learns these behaviors, their entire focus shifts to earning the next reward, not engaging in the learning process itself.

Why Special Education is Different—and More Effective

This is where working with an experienced special educator makes all the difference.

1. It’s About Readiness, Not Rushing

A skilled special educator starts with the foundation:

• Building trust and connection.
• Developing emotional regulation and engagement.
• Strengthening focus and sitting tolerance—because you can’t teach a child who can’t sit or stay engaged for even a minute.

2. A Holistic, Child-Led Approach

While therapy often focuses on isolated skills, a special educator looks at the whole child:

• What motivates them?
• What makes them shut down or push back?
• How can we create a learning environment where they feel safe, engaged, and ready?

3. Experience Matters

In this field, direct hands-on experience with children makes all the difference.

“Like I always say, this is a field where experience in direct work with children really helps. It teaches you the best way to approach and work with children who may be different in any way.”

An experienced special educator knows how to:

• Recognize when a child is ready—and when they’re not.
• Adjust strategies in real-time, based on how the child is responding.
• Build learning readiness first, so that academic or skill-based goals actually stick.

4. Building Life Skills and Long-Term Adaptability

A true special education approach goes beyond basic academics—it focuses on preparing children for real-life scenarios.

• Life skills like communication, social interactions, emotional regulation, and problem-solving are integral.
• I work with children through individual sessions to build foundational skills and then gradually transition them into group sessions based on their needs.
• This approach ensures they not only learn but also adapt and apply skills in social and real-world settings.

Because in the end, the goal isn’t just to teach isolated tasks—it’s to help children navigate life with confidence and independence.

Breaking the Cycle: Working WITH Your Child, Not Against Them

An experienced special educator focuses on:

• Meeting the child where they are, not where they “should” be.
• Building skills through engagement, not force.
• Gradually increasing expectations—so the child feels capable and motivated, not pressured.

The result?

• A child who is more willing to engage.
• Real progress that sticks, because the child is finally ready to learn.
• Parents who feel empowered, not confused or overwhelmed.

The Real Cost: Time, Money, and Emotional Burnout

And here’s something parents often realize too late:

• The time wasted can’t be caught up. Those crucial months—or even years—when a child could have been building genuine learning readiness are gone.
• The money spent feels like a loss. Therapy sessions, appointments, travel—costs pile up quickly without yielding real progress.
• And worst of all? The emotional toll. Parents feel frustrated, suffocated, and often—they start blaming the child.

You might think:

“Why isn’t my child making progress? Are they just being difficult?”

But it’s not the child—it’s the approach that’s failing them.

The child isn’t stubborn or lazy. They’re just overwhelmed, disconnected, and stuck in a system that isn’t meeting them where they are.

And while all this is happening, the child is still growing up—losing valuable time.

What are they really being prepared for?

• Are they learning skills that will help them thrive in life?
• Or are they just being conditioned to perform for the next reward?

The Path Forward: Focus on Readiness First

If you’re feeling stuck in the therapy cycle with little to no progress, ask yourself:

• Is my child truly ready to learn?
• Are they engaged, connected, and regulated?
• Or are they just learning how to push back—or worse, how to trick the system?

If the answer is no, it’s time to take a different approach.

Work with a special educator who focuses on readiness first.

Because real learning starts when the child feels safe, connected, and seen—not when they’re being pushed through endless therapy sessions.

Thank you for Reading 

IF you are Feeling Stuck? Let’s Find a Better Way.

If this resonates with you and you’re wondering what the next step should be, reach out.

 Email me at: Sameena@positivesolution.co.in
 Contact: 9886349135

Let’s work together to create a path forward—one that focuses on your child’s readiness and true potential.