You Are the Emotional Dictionary They Learn to Read

A Heart-to-Heart Guide for Parents of Non-Verbal Children

“Will my child ever tell me how they feel?”

Maybe no one says it aloud.

But you feel it — in your heart, in your silence, in the waiting.

You see your child overwhelmed, frustrated, happy, confused…

and you just wish they could tell you:

“This is what I’m feeling.”

You want to understand.

You want to help.

You want to connect.

But when words are missing, it can feel like you’re guessing in the dark.

So let me say this clearly — and gently:

You are not failing.

You are not behind.

You are the bridge.

You are your child’s emotional mirror.

And even if they haven’t spoken a word — they are reading you every day.

They watch how you handle stress.

They absorb how you speak with others.

They notice how you label your own emotions — or hide them.

You are their first emotional language.

You are the emotional dictionary they learn to read.

What They Need More Than Words

Before any child can speak emotions — they need to feel safe having them.

Your child needs to know:

“It’s okay to be upset.”
“It’s okay to feel shy.”
“It’s okay to feel big joy or big anger.”
“And it’s even okay to not know what you’re feeling.”

So before you try to teach “sad,”

show them what safe sadness looks like.

That means letting them see your eyes well up when you feel overwhelmed — and calmly saying,

“I’m feeling a little sad today, but I’m okay.”

Let them watch you take a deep breath, reach for a tissue, and still move forward.

That’s sadness without shame.

Before you teach “angry,”

model what calm anger feels like in a space of love.

That might sound like,

“I feel angry that something broke — I’m going to take a few minutes to breathe so I don’t shout.”

Then they see you choose calm. Not because you’re perfect,

but because you’re showing them how to move through the feeling — not away from it.

The goal is to build a world where emotions are welcome — even if they’re silent, for now.

A Different Kind of Teaching

You need to teach from real life.

Here’s how:

Morning:

“I feel calm this morning.”

“I feel tired today, but I’m okay.”

Use a whiteboard or sticker chart.

Draw a face. Circle a cloud. Add a heart.

Let them see what you feel. Let them match it over time.

Mealtime:

“I feel happy eating together.”

“I was a little upset earlier, but now I’m better.”

Let them see that feelings move — they don’t stay stuck.

Evening:

“I’m proud of you today.”

“You seemed calm during our walk.”

“I felt happy sitting beside you while you played.”

They are absorbing your reflection, even when they don’t respond.

Other Tools That Make Emotions Visible

A whiteboard with emojis or colored clouds
A sticker pad where everyone can choose how they feel
Emotion face flashcards stuck on the fridge
A “quiet corner” with a book, toy, water, and space
Daily “emotion check-ins” — no pressure, just rhythm

Don’t expect answers. Expect quiet watching.

Then one day — expect a small miracle.

What If It Doesn’t Work?

It is working.

Even if you can’t see it yet.

Please don’t give up after four days. Or one week. Or even a month.

Your child doesn’t need pressure.

Your child needs consistency.

And you — need faith in the quiet work.

Many of the children I’ve worked with have begun showing signs of emotional labeling not after a worksheet…

but after watching their parents reflect honestly and consistently every day.

That is the real teaching.

A 10-Day Step-by-Step Guide: Where to Start and How to Proceed

Once you’ve absorbed the heart of this blog — and you’re ready — here is your simple starting point.

Day 1–2: Begin with “Happy” and “Sad”

These are easy to show and recognize.

Say: “I feel happy.” or “I feel sad today.”
Draw these on a whiteboard — use emojis or simple faces.
Place emotion stickers near family photos each day.
Acknowledge when your child is laughing or quiet:

“You’re happy.” / “You seem a little sad.”

Day 3–5: Add Body-Based Emotions

(Tired, Hungry, Calm)

Say: “I’m tired — I’ll lie down.”
“I feel hungry. Let’s eat.”
“I feel calm after our walk.”

Model gestures too:

Hand on tummy = hungry
Palms down = calm
Closed eyes = tired

Day 6–8: Introduce Response Emotions

(Upset, Angry, Frustrated)

Reflect emotions gently:

“You feel upset. That’s okay.”
Show how you calm down — by breathing, writing, walking.
Don’t fear anger. Normalize it without punishment.
Create a “what to do when upset” plan:
- Write it on the whiteboard
- Include drink water, sit quietly, or squeeze a pillow

Day 9–10: Explore Social and Empathy Emotions

(Love, Excited, Shy, Scared)

Use heart signs 🤍 for love
Say: “I’m excited to see you!” or “That noise made me scared.”
Use clouds or bubbles to write or draw how you feel
Let your child see your feelings are safe and human too

Daily Practices to Keep Going Beyond Day 10

Label emotions 3–4 times a day with your face and voice
Create visual boards they can see and touch
Let them place emotion stickers, even if they don’t say anything
Use dolls, toys, or shows to talk about feelings
Keep a calm tone. No force. Just rhythm.

Gentle Emotion Games That Work

Mirror Me: You show a face, they copy. Then switch.
Emotion Toss: Ball with emojis — say what lands up.
Sticker Match: Match emojis to people/toys.
Color a Feeling: Ask: “Can you draw what calm looks like today?”

These are small games that create big breakthroughs.

Don’t Give Up Too Soon

Please don’t say “It’s not working” after a few days.

It’s not about reaction.

It’s about exposure.

Keep going. Stay steady.

Change will happen — not with noise, but with daily quiet trust.

Finally

Even if your child cannot say “I’m scared” —

they feel fear.

Even if they cannot say “I love you” —

they show it in ways only you can recognize.

Your job is not to wait for speech.

Your job is to model emotional safety.

To show.

To include.

To name what’s real.

To trust that it’s working, even in silence.

Because you are the emotional dictionary they learn to read.

And when the time is right — they’ll write their own sentences.

In their own way. In their own time. With your love as their guide.

Dear Parent,

You are not alone in this.

You are doing sacred, steady work.

The world may not see it — but your child does.

Thank you for being part of this quiet revolution.

The momentum is real. And it begins with you.

Blog

Posts tagged with non-verbalchildren-emotionalexpression-autismparenting

You Are the Emotional Dictionary They Learn to Read